What financial advice NextGen needs to hear as they stumble into the Real World

Brooke’s Note: Entering the work world at the bottom rung does not involve financial planning per se as much as the right attitude (humble bordering on servile), the right budget and a sense of humor. Prioleau Alexander provides all three in spades in this column, originally published in the Financial Times.

Four years ago, I wrote a column for my nephew Will and godson Alton, outlining my advice on the pitfalls of their upcoming freshman year at college. After his freshman year, I asked Will how much of the advice he followed. Being an honest man, he responded, “None.” I then asked how much he wished he’d followed. Honesty seized him again, and he said, “All of it.” See: Sallie Krawcheck clues in green advisors about choosing that all-important first gig.

Four years hence, I’ve decided to write another column offering advice on their transition into the real world. See: Next-gen advisor breaks the standard RIA mold to grow with her young clientele — many with $100,000 or less of assets. Men, life’s lessons come from making mistakes, and you’ll probably want to make all these mistakes for yourself … but following even one of these nuggets of wisdom will spare you some pain.

Being broke 101

First, the biggie: If your salary is, say, $40,000, understand you are now living in the horrid reality of “gross” versus “net.” The government takes a huge chunk, and you’re going to have to pay for car insurance, car repairs, property taxes, phone and internet access, food, clothing, shoes, rent, utilities and, perhaps, health insurance. You don’t know it, but in college you lived like a millionaire. Now you are broke, and need to be prepared for it.

You do not need a new car.

You do not need a new computer.

Do not get or use a credit card.

Do not get an apartment by yourself, no matter how much you think you “deserve” it. Roommates divide up the bills. Along this same vein, do not buy a new TV, a new sound system, a new gaming system or new furniture. One of the dummies you move in with will already have done this for you.

Do not let the amount of stuff you own exceed what you can put in your vehicle. Once this occurs, you don’t own the stuff—it owns you.

Save some money for one good vacation. With a total of one or two weeks off for the entire year, you’re gonna need to do something fun. If you put a vacation on a credit card, you have the maturity and intelligence of a six-week-old Irish setter.

All expenses paid

Buying a home is not an investment; it is a lifestyle choice. If you enjoy spending every weekend fixing stuff around the house, go for it. If you want to do something else on the weekend, rent.

If you rent, you are not “throwing money away.” You are paying for a roof over your head and an insurance policy that allows you to sleep like a baby knowing you don’t have to pay to replace the recently-exploded hot-water heater. Or anything, for that matter.

Here is what your boss and your company owes you: Nothing. Anything they give you beyond a paycheck is a blessing. If by some miracle your company offers a matching retirement program, max it out.

Unless you are in a drawer with a tag on your toe, do not miss a day of work your first year. If you think you’re going to cough up a lung, wear a lung-colored shirt. You can consider calling in sick after a year.

YOLO a no-go

If you get a DUI in the first five years of your employment, sell everything and join the French Foreign Legion. You have just ruined the rest of your life.

During the first few years of work, know that snow skiing, skydiving, snowboarding, rock climbing and motorcycle riding are done at your own peril. Unless you can add value to your company the day after shattering your hip, missing work for fun-related injuries is considered “extremely poor judgment” by most bosses. Managers don’t believe in YOLO.

Do not post on Facebook again until you are 45.

Every e-mail you send will, one day, be read by the person you wrote it about. See: Think about compliance before sending or posting those articles you read.

Leave your personal phone in the car and check it during lunch.

Within a year, you will wonder how your company ever got by without you. If you want to find out, start voicing that opinion.

I want to tell you about women, so here’s what I know: Nothing. Good luck. See: Top RIA business executive recruiter chides 180 women gathered in a New York ballroom for second-guessing themselves.

Good help

Tips are now 20%.

Ask every person you know about their car mechanic. When someone loves their mechanic so much they get choked up discussing the topic, you’ve found your man.

You never knew this, but going to the dentist costs money. Do it anyway. Along those same lines, people with bright white teeth look successful. Pay your dentist to professionally bleach yours.

Write thank-you notes for gifts, meals, and kind gestures. E-mail does not qualify as a thank you note. Be a grown-up and get some stationery with your name on it, then use it. You cannot imagine the positive impression it will make on those older than 40.

Taking your lunch to work all year will buy you an all-expenses paid trip for you and your lady friend to a four-star resort in Mexico. Do the math, and you’ll find I’m right.

Join AAA and carry jumper cables in your car.

Read the essay “A Message to Garcia.” Print it out. Reread it 1,000 times. Get it tattooed on your arm if it helps. Then live it.

Action

In my column four-years ago, I asked you to think every day about the young men fighting and dying in the Middle East. Guess what? They’re still there, fighting and dying in Afghanistan — and poised, if asked, for Syria. So drag yourself out of bed on Sunday, and go thank God for them. Every night you sleep warmly under the blanket of freedom they provide, and they deserve your prayers.

Finally, make sure you have fun, lads. Life is not a dress rehearsal,, and you’re now on the stage.

Prioleau Alexander, a native of Charleston, S.C., and a graduate of Auburn University, is a former Marine officer and a self-employed advertising entrepreneur. He is the author of “You Want Fries With That?: A White-Collar Burnout Experiences Life at Minimum Wage.” (Arcade Publishing, 2008).